We live in the land of choices and multiple options, but are we becoming a disposable society? How often do people give up the beauty of what they have, in the hopes of getting something better? This is a disturbing trend. Our ancestors lived in a time of scarcity. There were few choices and what they did choose had to last. They would not trade in a perfectly good wagon, just for the upgrade to a fancier model. That option would have been considered a luxury, one that the majority of people could not afford.
However, today we “upgrade” all the time. We let go of what we have now, in the hopes that we will get something better. From homes, cars and clothes; to spouses, jobs and relationships, it seems everything is disposable. But one thing that no one mentions about upgrades is that the new model will have many of the same problems of the old one, once the new wears off. There is such excitement about newness, that little attention is paid to the other “costs” of upgrading.
Upgrading is time consuming. If you invest in a quality relationship or buy something well made, chances are you can keep it and not have to make a choice about that again for years to come. But with upgrading, comes new choices and those choices take time and attention. If upgrading were only an isolated incident, it would not be a big problem, but today upgrading is an obsession.
You need only look to
With this obsession with the new, there is always drama, drama over the transition and drama brings attention to self. This kind of self-serving cycle is most often a subconscious event. Those trapped in its grip, are unaware of its evil intent. There is a destructive cultural correlation between the things in life, and quality of life. Media inundates society to believe that what they have might not be good enough, and that it should be discarded in search for something more.
This disposable cycle, keeps people at arms-length from anyone or anything of lifelong value. While in this cycle, people keep seeking something more, something that will be the one true thing, but they never really find it. This is because, in order to try the new thing, they must give up the old thing and that is where the problem lies.
As long as someone is willing to give up the old thing, in place of the new, they will never develop the personal value, which they were meant to have. Relationships that are strong and valuable have withstood the trials; they have felt the tug of compromise and giving of ones self. When you release a relationship at the first sign of struggle, you will never allow it to become a thing of deep personal value.
Relationships are not inherently valuable, but they become that way through the woven experiences of time and dedication. This is where there value comes from. Today you have multiple options to start over, to upgrade to move on to a new choice. But the caveat is will the new thing bring you happiness?
Often the well-worn antique has much more value than the brand new piece. It has survived time and withstood the years, this increases its value. It also is unique and not something everyone else would have the chance to own, this makes it special. But often what makes a possession most valuable is where it came from, who owned it before, or who gave it to you. This attachment creates something that cannot be gained by an upgraded item.
Before you discard something old, in the hopes of getting something new and better, ask yourself, “Will this really make me happy?” If you do not have a clear cut yes, then don’t trouble yourself with it.
It is true, less is more. The fewer choices you must make, the happier you will become. Having fewer choices, means you actually have time to enjoy what you already have, even more. Be careful to not spend so much time seeking new things or people that you will never know how to enjoy that which you already have.
Add value to your things and relationships by continuing to invest time in them. True happiness happens in the stillness of day well spent. Busyness is a way to self-sabotage your own happiness. Step back and decide not to limit your-self, but to only limit your choices.